For the first time in a long time I have been sleeping regularly and consistently. I do keep my soporific stash of salvific sedatives (redundancy for the sake of alliteration, folks) in close fellowship so the sleep I've been getting isn't 100% natural but it certainly is rejuvalizing, a word I have made up and used because it makes me think of the words jovial and jubilee, the first which I feel more of than as of late and the latter what I feel like having in celebration of this new child, the offspring of my union with the best of what science and mother earth have to offer. It's a blessed union, and our kids are beautiful.
I have chosen to re-engage my blog in cobbed-conversation (cobb web, eh? see how the juices flow when I'm rested? also a reference to Dom Cobb - protagonist from the dreamy filmInception) because I hold what I write less suspect than when I was writing under the torpid urgency of insomnia. To be an insomniac, for me at least, is to experience a paradoxical fusion of a near-suspension of time and the galvanized, formula-one-racing-thoughts-track of sleeplessness. I *hope* to write no longer because I feel compelled by an alien captor (i n s o m n i a) but out of a desire to employ writing to articulate my life's narrative, something Freud seemed to feel indispensable in healing neurosis. I think sometimes our self-obsessiveness (twitter/facebook/blogs) gets out of hand but I also think there can be positive creative output in processing ourselves for mass consumption.
Food is useful to us not in it's aboriginal form but in its synthesized form, once it's been re-orchestrated into the fabric of our organic selves. Experience, I think, is like food. Alone it is only the potential of life. But if we process our experiences, writing being one excellent way of doing just that, we recreate experience into something meaningful, we give it shape, definition, and transformative power. It is an act of creation. The right foods can ameliorate the effects of disease and even cancer, experiences processed correctly (symbolically, I feel) can indubitably heal psychical wounds. What are psychologists if not coaches in how to process what we have experienced? Perhaps I'll someday go into business as a dietologist.
I am not an individual without a network, a cob-web or relations that sustain and define me. The statement "I am Sam" is only significant because I am a son, brother, uncle, friend, enemy no doubt to some, nuisance to others (I got ticketed for longboarding through a pedestrian walkway the other day), etc. This is not a blog about me but about the way I process my relationships....the provenance of all my experiences, the womb of consciousness and the "other than I" that enables "I" to be a self-consciousness. The true "inter-net" is the inter-relational web of contacts each of us lives at the center of. I will cease talking in circles and philosophizing. Suffice it to say that I am content with a return of dreams and a restoration of night as the property of dreaming. I yawn as I plunk out this final sentence, my eye lids stoop and eyes water and
[...]
-Wareing
post script:
My blog will now be comprised of responses to the books I read and the movies I see. Less in the way of a critique and more in the vein of what I have learned, discovered, or am now thinking as directly or indirectly affected by said medias. Blog alpha was more focused on the creative capacity latent in the subconscious. Blog beta will be focused on cogent (hopefully) analysis and discussion about the film/book I have "consumed" (see Ezekiel 2:8 to 3:3 --- eh? see? that whole discussion about "processing" our experiences like food? God has Ezekiel eat a book---there is something about digestion that is significant in our approach towards lit and film).